11 Roses

"And who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me...

Don't come back at all!"

                -Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Ahh, Valentine's Day. A day for love. A day for couples. A day for all the single people out there to feel worse about themselves then they do already.

Ya know...I remember back in elementary school when Valentine's Day meant going to every store looking for the PowerPuff Girl Valentines, writing a persons name on each one, sticking a sucker or some chocolate on to it, and then painstakingly dropping one in each persons pile, only to find that the girl who sits across from you got the exact same cards as you. Then stuffing your face with chocolate, cupcakes, and whatever else the room mothers happened to bring. Now, Valentines Day means waking up like any normal day, getting all dressed up in pink and red with some fancy little thing made of hearts in your hair just so you can play along in this little game, going to school and painstakingly watching all the happy couples give each other roses or chocolate or something and having to listen to all your friends talk about their plans and how wonderful their significant other is and then going home and eating whatever left over candy there is. And ya know, it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't so full of hope. It wouldn't be so bad if half of you wasn't saying "Hey, don't worry about it. There is someone out there, and they will find you and you'll live happily ever after." While the other half was there saying, "You know you're never gonna find someone. I mean, let's be serious here. Who would want you? No one ever has, and no one ever will, so deal with it." And you know the second half is right but for some reason there's still that little glimmer of hope, but that only gets crushed by that other half so now there's nothing left at all. Just you. And nothing else. Heck, sometimes there isn't even any "you" left. Just this moving, breathing shell of what once was. Even though it wasn't always like this. You remember when you used to not care about this kind of thing at all. You were so happy living life the way you were, then you became even happier, and then for some reason, you became extremely depressed and it changed your whole world. But now, your whole world is love and you can't get it out of your head. You wish there was something you could do about it, but then it goes back to those two halves of yourself that can't seem to come to an agreement, and there you are...stuck in your circle of what you pass off as life.

But that's just my view of things.